With his bottom left hand stuck in a glass jar, Shendron was left with only 5 hands to defend himself! How would he manage this! But then, he thought to himself, he should perhaps first wait to discover who his attacker was, as this would probably determine the fate of his life, and the lives of the hundreds of other marsupial-inhabitants of the temple.

Then, from the shadows, a figure emerged. At first a dim silhouette, and then growing steadily more visible, until at last...

"MOTHER!"

"Yes, my son, it is I, your mother, ruler of all things purple." Her voice rattled with the shrill raspiness than tends to occur after 3275 years, 284 days and 17 hours of life in most middle-aged single mothers.

"How can it be!" cried Shendron. "I thought you had died in the last great caramel tsunami. "

"You would hear of my escape then, my son? And how I came to be in the possession of the cherry marmalade?" Her voice, although only and whisper, echoed through the bedroom and ensuite bathroom.

Without even waiting for a reply, she began to weave her tale of lies, deceit and custard...