He almost wept when he realised the truth of the situation, and how he had been neglecting his wife all these years and giving more attention to his slug than her...

Almost.

Instead he wiggled his ears on the floor to try and turn himself around. His mother was going to pay for this. But wait. Who was this new individual in the garden? Whoever it was, they looked very much like a pair of boots. In fact, on closer inspection, he could swear that's what he was seeing.

The pair of boots was rapidly coming closer to the same part of the multiverse that his nose happened to inhabit at this period of time. Closer... closer... closer...

You just have to love physics. The whole "this particle attached to a whole bunch of booty particales over here and about to come into contact with the other particle of nose over here," and how it could suddenly turn into a warm and loving relationship as the particles were brought closer together and suddenly became more intimate. Of course, so many relationships of this sort have breakups, and this was no exception. Only the breakup was so sudden, as the particles had only been in touch for a few milliseconds when the nose-particles decided they'd had enough and left. Flew away in fact. Through the air to the other side of the garden. But the boot-particles wanted a reunion. And the foot-in-the-boot-particles were all for it, and were doing everything in their power to bring this about.

Shendron was now in tears, but these were not from his wife's sentimental words. These were because he had just landed on his slug and squished him. Add to this the fact that he could see at least two boots attached to a evil sadistic mother bearing down on him, and this didn't seem to be the good day he thought it was going to be. And the cherry on top: he was missing C.S.I. Miami!!!